Haribo Wedding (14-18s/8-18s)

By Andy Edwards

Kids and grown-ups love it so…

Memories of ‘the big day’ pull tightly at the heartstrings of Niamh and her friends. After graduating high school, they plan to recreate the magic. Time for the ultimate Haribo Wedding.

As darkness falls, they gather at St Anthony’s Chapel in Holyrood Park. Back where it began, to celebrate the end … but they get more than they bargained for. If Nostalgia’s angels call, you can’t refuse the invite.

Was the Haribo Wedding ever as cute as it seemed in primary? What really happened that day? Were they the same people back then … and who were the unfortunate souls they left behind?

Award-winning playwright Andy Edwards makes their Strange Town debut with Haribo Wedding. This creeping horror about nostalgia explores how our childhood memories are the ones most susceptible to a collective self-edit.

Setting(s)	St Anthony's Chapel, Holyrood Park, Edinburgh
First produced	June 2023; directed by Bradley Lewis Cannon
Genre	Drama, Surreal, Horror, Nostalgia
Cast Size	20
Recommended for performers aged	14-18, 8-18
Running Time	60 minutes
Recommended for audiences aged	14+

Script Extract:

Act 1, Scene 1

St Anthony’s Chapel, overlooking St Margaret’s Loch.
The wedding party, frozen in the picture pose:

Niamh and Kieran, exchanging rings. Nicky and Adam, close by. Elspeth and Lottie, mid-cuddle. Jos and Flick, mid-laugh. Zoe has thrown flower petals, which hang in the air. Max has their back turned, face obscured, giving a thumbs up. All look happy, too happy.

The sun sets and Luna appears.
Under moonlight, Nostalgia’s Angels enter.

Memory We’re the piece of a puzzle that isn’t yet made

Time A jigsaw, re-cut, every time it is laid.

Truth We’re the crest of a feeling, a heart-breaking wave

Hollow All of those moments you wish you could save.

Peace We’re gone and we’re false, here and we’re true

All And we’re coming for her, for him, for you.

Peace We are nostalgia,

Hollow Your hosts for tonight.

Truth Angels, demons, tricks of light.

Time Appearing before you,

Memory When the moment is right

All You know our names.

Truth Truth, who cannot hide.

Peace Peace, who takes no side.

Time Time, who will not sleep.

Memory Memory; buried deep.

Hollow And Hollow, the pain you keep.

All Welcome to the wedding

Memory Tonight there’ll be three

Time One, present

Truth Second, past

Hollow And don’t forget the third

Peace Which only you can make last

Luna Be not afraid; they mean you no harm,
For where our appearance may shock, our methods will charm.
Our interventions, though rare, come at no cost,
And all you must do, is pray for what’s lost.

Angels (in prayer) O St Anthony, St Anthony
Your heart swells with human sympathy
Gentlest of saints, I implore you, please obtain for me …

Luna Is that not why you meet us here,
At St Anthony’s chapel, where your city sleeps near?
With winds that howl, stars that glisten,
And your moon takes its place, to watch, and to listen.

Act 1, Scene 2

The wedding party burst into life.

All Kids and grown-ups love it so,
The happy world of Haribo

Elspeth This is fucking stupid

Nicky Elspeth, shush. Everyone still. Please.

Jos It’s freezing up here. Kieran?

Kieran Where’s your jacket?

Jos (digging Kieran in the ribs) You’re meant to offer me yours.

Nicky Get ready. It’s on a timer. There’s a noise.

Niamh This is complicated. Let’s just say “cheese”

Nicky Why don’t brides be quiet?

Lottie Yeah, cheese sounds good to me.

Flick You should hear it in French. Fromage.

Zoe Someone’s got a queso the munchies.

Nicky Zoe. Look at the lens.

Adam But the Haribo song resonates. We sang it then; we sing it now.

Nicky Adam. Get back here.

Adam I’m just saying it’s symbolic.

Max (turning around to see the camera) What does that light mean?

A flash. The sound of a phone taking a photograph. Collective groans.

Nicky Okay, okay. One more shot.

Jos No, let’s get the fire going.

Lottie We’ve got marshmallows, right?

Niamh Pom bears, iced gems

Zoe Baby bells, cheese strings

Flick I need a Frube.

Elspeth Anything to drink?

Max There’s a box of capri-sun.

Elspeth Brilliant, that’s just what I had in mind.

Adam It’s authentic. That’s the whole point.

Kieran Don’t worry Elspeth – booze is sorted.

Nicky Positions. Please. Nobody move.

Jos My fingers are turning blue.

Elspeth Nicky, no one cares about this dumb wedding /

Nicky Shut up. Move an inch and you’re off the crags. Then, I’m coming to your funeral, digging up your corpse, dragging it all the way back up, the off you go again. And again. And again. Alright?

Bewildered noises of agreement.

A flash. The sound of a phone taking a photograph.

The group cheers.