Billi and the Polar Bear (8-10s)
By RJ Hunter
Billi always takes things too far: making up stories, stealing people’s glasses and generally being an all-round pain. So, when Billi discovers a book about Chris-T-Mas – a holiday celebrated long ago – the group are understandably hesitant to trust them.
To make matters worse, they can’t even check as the book has been lost near the den of Avalanche – the grouchiest and most monstrous polar bear left on the ice!
But Billi isn’t afraid (though perhaps they should be!) They’re determined to find it and have the best Chris-T-Mas ever…even if they’re not really sure what that truly means.
A light-hearted Christmas comedy-caper across the frozen wilderness.
Setting(s) |
The Frozen Wilderness |
|---|---|
First produced | December 2023; directed by Catherine Ward-Stoddart |
Genre | Comedy, Christmas, Family, Adventure |
Cast Size | 20 |
Recommended for performers aged | 8-10 |
Running Time | 45 minutes |
Recommended for audiences aged | All ages |
Script Extract:
SCENE 1
The stage is empty and silent apart from a subtle winter wind blowing throughout. In the distance, loud thumping footsteps can be heard, along with a low, intense growling. Then, silence again.
The silence is then interrupted by five children running in, led by KILO, who looks distressed. He is followed by EL, OLIVE, SKYE & BILLI, all of whom are laughing. KILO drops to their knees and fumbles in the snow.
KILO: This is too far, Billi!
EL: Aw, come on, it’s funny!
KILO: I need my glasses to see!
SKYE: That’s why it’s funny.
OLIVE: Classic!
KILO is digging holes in the snow all around the stage.
KILO: We shouldn’t even be out here this late! Where did you hide them, Billi?
BILLI: Not telling.
OLIVE: I’ll tell you where Billi hid them!
KILO: Where?!
OLIVE: In the snow!
The kids erupt in laughter apart from KILO, who is becoming seriously agitated. KILO digs another hole and their hands hit something. KILO gasps.
KILO: Yes! I found them!
BILLI: Huh?
KILO sighs as they instead pull out a book.
KILO: Woah.
SKYE: What is that?
EL: How should they know? They can’t see.
BILLI grabs the book and studies it intensely.
BILLI: ‘Avi’s Guide to a Perfect Chris-T-Mas’
SKYE: Who’s Avi?
OLIVE: Who’s Chris T-Mas?
EL: Who buries a book?
BILLI opens the book, and it’s like a beacon of light is projected from it; the children are transfixed.
ALL: Wow.
OLIVE: Chris-T-Mas isn’t a person.
EL: It’s a party!
SKYE: For families! And friends!
BILLI: It looks…AMAZING!
KILO: I still can’t see.
EL: Look! The twelve days of Chris-T-Mas!
OLIVE: A twelve-day party?!
ALL: Awesome!
EL: And who’s that? With the white hair?
OLIVE: Wow, she has so many presents!
BILLI: Never mind that, she’s got FLYING HORSES!
SKYE: And everyone’s eating so much food! And everyone’s getting presents from the white-haired lady!
EL: Look at those trees!
OLIVE: I haven’t seen trees like that in ages!
SKYE: And it’s covered in lights! And shiny stuff!
BILLI: It looks…beautiful!
KILO: It sounds pretty good too!
Suddenly, the large footsteps can be heard approaching again. The kids almost are raised off the ground with each thud. BILLI slams the book shut and hands it to KILO, who takes it reluctantly.
KILO: W-w-what is that?!
OLIVE: I don’t know, but I don’t like it!
BILLI: Aw, grow up!
SKYE: You don’t think it’s that polar bear?
EL: The polar bear that our parents warned us about!
BILLI: Don’t be stupid!
KILO: Guys, can we please just find my glasses and get out of here?
BILLI dangles KILO’s glasses in front of their face. KILO looks confused.
BILLI: I didn’t really take them! Don’t be stupid, Kilo!
The Polar Bear’s roar can be heard from offstage. The kids are pushed back by its force. KILO drops the book in panic. They all scream and run offstage. After a moment, KILO almost comes back on, looking for the book from the side-lines.
KILO: Come on Kilo, why do you keep losing everything?
KILO looks for the book but can’t find it.
KILO: Come on, come on, where’s the book!
BILLI: (Offstage) Kilo! Hurry up, will you?!
KILO hesitates for a minute and can hear the growling of the bear. He runs, leaving the book behind. A crowd of flies buzzes in, sniffing around the scene.
FLY 1: Smells like we had some visitors!!
FLY 2: Pee-yew! They smell fresh! And clean!
The flies all react in disgust.
FLY 3: Look! They left something!
FLY 4: A book? Boring!
FLY 5: A Christmas book?! Hide it, Avalanche can’t see anything Christmassy.
AVALANCHE’s footsteps can be heard, but he never comes onstage.
AVALANCHE: (offstage) WHAT’S ALL THAT NOISE?
FLIES: Nothing, Avalanche!
AVALANCHE: WHAT ARE YOU BUZZING ABOUT THEN?
FLY 1: Smells like some kids were sniffing around here!
FLY 2: Don’t worry though, you scared them off!
AVALANCHE: GOOD. KEEP. IT. DOWN.
FLIES: Yes, Avalanche!
AVALANCHE can be heard stomping off in the distance.
FLY 3: What do we do about the book?
FLY 4: Bury it! Avalanche will flip if he sees anything to do with Christmas!
FLY 5: Why is he like that?
FLIES 1/2/3/4: WHO CARES?!
The FLIES bury the book as fast as they can.
FLY 2: That oughta do it!
FLY 1: Right! No one let Avalanche find that book. And look out for those kids!
If you are interested in this script, please email James at james@strangetown.org.uk
