And The Racket They Made

TOBY: What is it?

JACK: Hmmmm?

TOBY: What’s wrong?

JACK: Nothing really.

TOBY: Don’t lie to me now, boy. Uncle Toby knows better.

JACK: Since you mentioned it.

TOBY: You want to pop the question to Em?

JACK: No! Of course not.

TOBY: No I didn’t mean . . .

JACK: What?

TOBY: I didn’t mean marry . . .

JACK: Oh so . . .

TOBY: It was a . . .

JACK: It was a . . .

TOBY: Figure of . . .

JACK: Speech. I see.

TOBY: But you are going to . . .

JACK: What? To what?

TOBY: Tell her.

JACK: How I . . .

TOBY: Feel. Yes?

JACK: Yes.

TOBY: Right.

JACK: Yeah.

TOBY: And?

JACK: What?

TOBY: And?

JACK: Oh I see. Um, can you help?

TOBY: Probably not. I think you’re way beyond help, my friend. But I’ll try.

JACK: So. What do I do?

TOBY: Just tell her how you feel. Be sensitive: women like that. Soft. Voice. Come on; let’s hear your soft voice.

JACK: What shall I say?

TOBY: Say: ‘I thought you should know that I love you’.

JACK: I thought you should know that I love you.

TOBY: Yeah say that.

JACK: I just did.

TOBY: What? You were going to say it like that?

JACK: Why not?

TOBY: That’s convincing no one. Come on, more passion.

JACK: (almost angrily) I thought you should know that I love you.

TOBY: You sound like you’re making threats down a phone line. At least try to be normal.